Not So Sane Tales From The Special Region
by Karaya 2
Summary: The story of one man who defied all odds. His legacy shall forever live on in the memory of a fateful charge. A series of crack fics, don't say I didn't warn you.
1. Chapter 1

Rifles crackled and bombs exploded in the heart of Uganda, this was the final show down between the Tiger Mafia and the Gallant Ugandan Commandos. The Commandos were led by the Magnanimous Harambe, Harambe came from humble beginnings. He was born to a Harmabe the Elder a Ugandan warlord, in a time of great trouble his father would fight against the Tiger Mafia ultimately to be slain by the fearsome Mr. Megunto the leader of the Tiger Mafia. Harambe had sworn to avenge his father and joined the Ugandan Commandos. Harambe rode atop his war wagon, a Toyota Truck with a 105mm Recoilless Rifle mounted in the bed of the truck.

"Forward man! We must destroy the Tiger Mafia man!" Harambe yelled to his second in command Colonel Paul.

"Aye sir, well send them to hell man!" Paul replied as he put the truck in gear and charged the Tiger Mafia lines. Dazed at the awesome sight of Harambe and Paul in the War Wagon the Tiger Mafia all they could do was watch. With a thunderous crack, Harambe fired his 105 sending a canister shell down range at the stunned mafia. Hundreds of irons darts tore the Mafia members apart, many lay wounded or dead. The radio crackled to life.

"Commandant Harambe, tis a great victory this day man! The Tiger Mafia has scattered and their leader has been captured man!" Said one of Harambes Commando's.

"Finally Father! I have completed your divine mission man." Harambe said to himself. Harambe is a good man and Harambe is humble. He knows when to show mercy. "To all Commandos stop shoo…" Harambe was interrupted by when a panicked voice sounded over the radio.

"Commandant! An unknown force is attacking! THE MAN IS KILLING US MAN!" The voice yelled before turning to static.

"To all commandos! What is happening man!?" Harambe demanded.

"We are under attack by men in armor man! They have beast man!" As quick at a flash, Harambe and Paul and their troop of rough riders armed with Toyota truck with mounted Machine Guns rushed to the scene. Before them lay thousands of Imperial troops, beasts, and dragons.

"Surrender savages! And become part of the Glamorous Great Empire!" The Imperial General Yelled.

"What did me say man?"

"I don't know man."

"What do we do man."

"Simple man!"

"Man?"

"WE KILL THE MAN MAN!" And with that the rough riders armed with heavy machine guns and 105mm recoilless rifles opened fire tearing through the imerpials and their ferocious beasts. But it was clear, no matter how man rifle, machines guns, recoilless rifles and Toyota trucks they had, they would soon be overwhelmed by the vast number of human bodies. In a quick split second decision Harmabe called on his greatest weapon. "Zivimbe! Drop the bomb over!"

"But it is too thick man!" Zivimbe replied.

"DROP THE BOMB MAN!" Harambe ordered.

"Yes Commandant Harambe man." Over the Horizon came a Ugandan Airforce AH-64 Apache with faithful pilot Zivimbe. Zivimbe dived on the imperial forces and dropped and huge bombs on the Imperials. In a flash the Imperial were evaporated by the sheer force of the Commandos and their air force.

"Man a brave Commando has shed his blood upon this field today man." Harambe said solemnly.

"Don't worry man, revenge will come man." Paul said.

 **THREE MONTHS A LATER**

Months had passed and now it was time to strike back. The Ugandan Commando's had been chosen to lead the invasion of the Special region. As the Japanese would call it mind you, if it was up to the Commandos it would be called Commando land where all Commandos could do Commando things in a state of Commando bliss. But I digress this story ain't about the Japanese this story is about Harambe and his Commandos so be quite and listen for Harambe is a great warrior.

*Ahem*

Harambe had gathered his commando's and Rough Riders and was prepared to lead them through the gate for Harambe was a Great Warrior and no one could deny it. Armed with the best Technical in the word, some of the Toyota's trucks had been equipped with MILAN ATGMs, ZU-23-2 Anti-aircraft guns added to the impressive firepower of his commando's.

"Men, today we ride into the unknown! Do not fear for the spirt of my father, Harambe the Elder, has for seen victory this day! Now men! Forward!" Harambe made the speech from the back of his War Wagon. With a battle cry and plumes of diesel smoke the Commando's pushed into the unknown. They exited the dark tunnel and came out on a hill, it was night, it was cold, but the Commando's didn't care. They would avenge their fallen commando's and claim the Special region aka Commando land. At the bottom of the hill the Imperials lit torches and began their march up the hill.

"Open fire man!" Harambe yelled, the Toyota technical swarm opened fire with an initial volley of 105mm, 12.7mm, 23mm rounds burst from the mounted guns and MILAN missiles tore through the beasts. "NOW CHARGE COMMANDOS!" And with the force of a thousand tanks and the might of the Mongols of yore the Commando's charged the enemy line. Arrows flew overhead and giants hurtled rock but none could stop what we now knows as the Charge of the Light Technical! Head first they rammed into the enemy sending bodies and gore flying everywhere. The 105mm could not be used at close range so Harambe pulled out his gold plated .44 magnum revolver and began to fire blowing off the heads of the imperials. As soon as it had begun it seemed to end.

"Is it over man?" Paul asked.

"Yes it is done man." Harambe said.

"Look man!" A commando yelled. On the Horizon thousands more Imperials marched towards the Commandos.

"By god man." A Commando said.

"It's a whole other Battalion man!" Another yelled.

"Men, prepare yourselves!" Harambe ordered loading new cartridges into his Gilded Magnum. Imperial Horse Guard charged the Brigade of Light Technical and were met with furious gunfire. But victory was far from certain, before them was hundreds of thousands of imperial foot regiments. But a glimmer of hope came from behind as a familiar thudding filled the air.

"I GOT THE BOMB MAN!" Zivimbe yelled sticking his head outside of the Helicopters as he flew over he bombed the Imperials into oblivion but many more still stood. An Imperial bowman armed with a very special bow that fires infrared guided arrows with acid lighting tips fired at the helicopter. The arrow his the stabilizer and sent the helicopter into a spin.

"I'm going down man!" Zivimbe said. The helicopter crashed amongst the imperials.

"ZIVIBE!" Harambe yelled.

"We got a Blackhawk down I repeat we got a Blackhawk down!" Paul said into the radio.

"Commandant Harambe I can see small arms coming from da Chopper man!"

"We got to save him man!"

"But we are out of bullets man!" Harambe put the ramblings of the men out of his mind as he thought of a solution. And then It came to him, he leaned down and picked up an Imperial lance, his commandos caught on and did the same. Half a league, Half a league away. Half a League Onward. Into the Valley of Death, Drove the six hundred. Forward the Light Technicals!

 **Many a day later**

The men and women of the Third Recon Team drove down a Roman rode, the open field gave way to a gruesome scene before them. Thousands of Imperial bodies lay dead and hundreds of dead Commandos lie with them. Dead horse and dead beast mixed with burning Toyota truck.

"By god what happened here." Itami muttered.

"I thought we were the only ones who had access to the Special region." Kurata said. As the recon team moved about the battlefield a glint caught Itami's eye. He walked over to a man on the brink of death, he wore aviator shade and a red Beret, in his hand was a Gold Plated revolver.

"Medic!" Itami called. The man grabbed Itami's arm.

"Listen to me man! There is nothing you can do for me man." Harambe said. "But if you could grant a dying commando one last wish man."

"Anything." Itami said, the Recon team gathered around.

"Take my Beret, my glasses, and my gun man. Carry on my mission man, raise a Brigade of Light Technicals and avenge me man. For I am off to Commando heaven man." Harambe let one last breath before he passes. Itami took what was requested and turned to his team.

"What are you going to do Lt." Shino asked. Itami put on the Beret and Glasses then holstered the magnum.

"I shall grant the man's last wish."

And so the legends have tell of a Japanese man riding the plains of Falmart in a Toyota truck with a mounted 105mm Recoilless rifle. He travels about the land in search of a spankable elf butt, slaying all who cross his path. He shall rebuild the Light Technicals and one day avenge a fallen man.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two: The Shrike Remembers**

IN JUNE OF 1968, AN A-6 Intruder launched at AGM-45 Shrike at a NVA SAM battery. But as the Shrike zeroed in on its target it was sucked into Falmart, the navy wrote it off as a dud. But the Shrike never detonated and to this day never forgot his target. This is the Story of that Shrike, and the Shrike Remembers.

In the middle of a grassy field lay a strange object, long, white, cylindrical with eight jagged wings. This was Shrike Model 45B-3, an anti-radar missile. He had watched many of his brothers' arc from the wings of aircraft and blow up upon the commies below. Oh how Model 45B-3 wished he could have done the same, but it was not to be for the gods had other plans and had taken him from his world. The navy and his brothers missed him dearly and his enemy, an S-75 had laughed at him and put him out of its mind. But B-3 never forgot, for the Shrike Remembers.

Years passed, travelers came and went, rains and drought, through harvesting season after harvesting season the B-3 sat in that field thinking of home. His white casing starting to turn green and his fins starting to rust, he was getting old. He thought of the many times he had been up in the sky but never launched, how this angered him! His enemy was a coward! How dare they not face the fury of the Shrike! One day they would feel it, for the Shrike remembers.

Again time passed and a grand trade city had been built along two major highways that connected the land. B-3 would bear witness to the city, how many time the enemy would batter itself against the wall only to fall to hot oil and arrows. B-3 began to feel proud of this city, they were not cowards they were brave! And so they were worthy to call themselves Shrike city. During one of the many battles an arrow landed near B-3, the arrow reminded him of the 20mm Vulcan rounds that were in the armory, so the arrow became known as Vulcan the disciple of Shrike Model 45B-3. The young Vulcan would stay up late listening to the tales of Shrikes brothers who gave their lives to destroy the accursed SAMs. And B-3 taught Vulcan to never forget for the Shrike Remembers.

One day the gate would open in Japan and the Japanese would bring through many radars. Shrike could feel the disturbance, the Radar angered him. It reminded him of his enemy S-75, he swore revenge for a Shrike Remembers.

One day the Japanese would come to Shrike city during a major battle. B-3 was overjoyed to see modern equipment so close to him, he was almost home. But as night fell the bandits returned, B -3 thought nothing of it, attacks happened all the time. Suddenly he felt a disturbance, a presence not felt sense Nam, and it made his propellant boil. With all his might he activated the passive radar guidance not used for years, and he saw it. The Radar signature of his enemy S-75! With all he could muster he ignited his propellant and in the dawn morning light he set off for the signal. He followed it towards Shrike city, through the gate. With a might roar he yelled.

"S-75 TODAY YOU DIE!"

With a mighty battle cry he detonated his warhead and destroyed his enemy.

Many speak of that day, the day a retired American Missile in a land far away was ignited. The day Rory the Reaper was finally killed never to return, she was no match for an angered Shrike. So yeah a Shrike may be blind, stupid, not have a good guidance system, and well be down right retarded. But the Shrike Remembers. The Shrike Always Remembers.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi, Karaya here, and I'm gonna teach YOU how to write a proper "Attack on Ginza" chapter.**

 **-First off it's got to be set in Ginza, how else would it be a Ginza attack with no Ginza?**

The sun shone brightly over Ginza Tokyo, birds were chirping, and happy citizens went about their day at the big anime convention.

 **-Then we introduce the main character. It's best to add them in via roster or spread sheet, that way you don't have to develop the character. Remember they got to be an Otaku, if they ain't no one will like your story.**

It was here in Ginza that a young man wanted to get his hands on some Anime and Manga for he is an Otaku. This man was

Name: Timothy Wilhelm Dickson

Nationality: American-German

Race: White

Age: 20

Height: Six foot tall

Weight: 200 pounds

Job: USMC MARINES MARSOC

Weapons: M16A4, and Sniper rifles

History: Timothy enlisted in the Marines to be like his father, and uphold the military tradition in his family. He came from a long line of German expert soldiers. He killed many people as part of marine special forces. Just you watch he'll kill some more here soon.

 **-Now look at the key features of this character. He's a Marine, Special Forces, and Otaku, and part German. PERFECT CHARACTER. Now next we add some filler then have the invasion.**

Now it is 11:31:56 AM Japanese time, Ginza Tokyo, Timothy is riding down an escalator on his way to another booth when he sees a fire in the distance. Because of his time in the Marines he can tell that it is no normal fire.

"Mmmmm, that is no normal fire. Who would start a fire in a city. I should make a call."

The Marine pulls out his cell phone and presses a few buttons.

"General something is going on Ginza, Tokyo, there is a fire."

Just then a DRAGON flies by and people begin to panic, on the street below mythic creatures and Roman soldiers kill innocent people!

"Oh iiii God, General we're under attack! I repeat we are under attack by roman soldiers. Request support."

Timothy threw his phone to the side and ran to his car and grabbed his rifle. As a Marine he is allowed to keep his weapon on him at all times.

"Time to kill some fuckers rah!"

 **-Next have the main character meet Itami. Because you can't have GATE without Itami.**

Tim fought his way through Ginza saving as many people as he could. A few feet away he saw a JSDF man fighting as well. He just got done killing a roman.

"Hey you! We need to save people!"

"Agreed. I'm Second Lieutenant Itami!"

"I'm Sergeant Dickson, UNITED STATE MARINES!"

"We must save as many innocents as possible Tim!" Itami said grabbing a rifle.

"Agreed, we should bring them to the imperial palace they will be same there."

"Right." Itami replied. "Let's go!"

 **-Now pad out the run time with a big battle.**

Around this time the United States and JSDF have arrived to fight. They have brought Abrams, Type 90s, Bradleys, Lavs, Humvees and trucks. In the air they fill it with Blackhawks, Apache's, and Cobras. They clear the street and begin to push the Romans back but not with out loss. Some of the allied vehicles get destroyed by magic. A radio crackles to life.

"THIS IS NOMAD 6-4 WE'RE UNDER ATTACK BY MAGIC! REQUEST IMMEDIATE SUPPORT!"

The soldiers watch as a helicopter is shot down by magical flame magic cast by magic folk.

"THOSE BASTARDS! ALL FORCES THIS IS GENERAL GILBER DRIVE THEM BACK RAHHHHHHHH!"

-Now have them push back.

The soldiers pushed the romans back but still took losses. Tanks would run over the romans soldiers only to be brought to a brutal end by a well aimed ballista. APC would shoot down dragon riders and blow up ogres just to be crushed by a catapult. Even a mighty Arleigh Burke met its demise when dragon fire set of the missiles. At the end of it all there have been 50,000,000 imperial caustlies and 100,000 earth soldiers dead.

Timothy stood at the mouth of the Gate.

"We must now strike back."

"Join my team time" Says Itami.

"Gladly!"

 **-AND THAT'S HOW YOU WRITE A FIRST CHAPTER**


End file.
